As I continued to look through photos, I came across a black-and-white one of my best friend and me taken on New Year’s Eve. We looked so happy, I couldn’t help but smile. I remembered how we had met two years before; she was sitting in a bar wearing a fedora and speaking in her Zimbabwean accent.
We had an immediate connection but didn’t think of it as romantic or sexual. She was one of the most beautiful, charming, brilliant and funny people I had ever met, but it didn’t occur to me, until that soul-searching moment in my garden, that we could perhaps choose to love each other romantically.
What had I been waiting for all of these years? She is the person I like being with the most, the one with whom I am most myself.
The next time I saw her, in New York, I shared my confusing feelings, and we began the long, painful, wonderful process of trying to figure out what our relationship was supposed to be.
a cool thing to do is to think of your relationships as existing on a bell curve
a few people probably really love or like you and a few people probably actively dislike you but the majority of everyone youve interacted with probably just thinks you’re a decent ok person with no major feelings one way or another
and you probably think the same of most people as well
so dont sweat it
The February 2014 Criterion Collection line-up